mydirtyshit

HAPPINESS!

2008-11-16T21:48:00.001+09:00

I PASSED MY DRIVING!
now i have to clock my 25hrs and pass the Hazard Perception Test.
LICENSE HERE I COME!
i hope daddy get me a car asap~

I CUT MY HAIR AGAIN,
i know its pathetically short.
But i just love it.

KISS ASS PPL!

The Truth

2008-11-10T14:49:00.002+09:00

How do you feel when you said, that you will not wait for an answer that wont ever come?
What do you think if after months of broke up, just cos of "i wont wait", he suddenly says, let get back, and he really loves you?

What would you do, if you friends told you, you deserve better than him?
What would you do, if his frens told you there is more than what it seems?
What would you do, if you realized all that he said were lies and he blamed it on others?

So much for,

all i did was go sch, home, dota, with weide they all.
and suddenly, there was dinners with meihui, and movies with kerlyns?

i only went for 2 chalet, junkai chalet and poly class chalet.
suddenly, tsuting appeared and he claims that " i go alot of chalet"

Please, can the readers.
Leave a comment at my tag.

I need guidance and advice.
Before I shut the doors to him.

Good to Bad.

2008-10-31T07:41:00.002+09:00

To be honest, it wasn't such a bad night.
Had cigg, pizza, nasi goreng.
Blending all of my brain juice just to get my 2000 word essay done.
We were laughing all the way over the stupid Domino pizza operator which we called upteem times and dont understand: MELVILLE. until like the 3rd or 4th time, Dannia slanged and the fucker got it right. i cant believe i laughed til i had to sit on the floor. me and xinfang was like WTF! and our dear april was so sexy and unafraid of the cold. I SWEAR i was chattering.

Had pizza, and tried to get the essay done, til i asked this guy fren of mine. How is my ex doing. and then i told him im worried abt my ex and stuff and then it goes like this.

"We know you love him"
"He knows it too"
"Let it go"

ok, so i am some fucking bitch who 死缠烂打。
fine.

"You two no trust"
"You oso control him so much"

YES. i am a control freak.
Who demands too much by acting for 3 things.
Dont hang out late with girls, if got girl call or what tell me, I am fine.
Dont go to club, but it fine to drink with ur bros.
Dont smoke.
Damn, i didnt know, i was THIS demanding.

"That day he go chalet"
"then He go to the rich girl house and ton"
"cos he no money to go home"

What i good excuse, can i go anyone i just met in sch and SLP OVER?
cos i got no money tk last bus home ;)

"Ya then he slp"
"The girl seduce him"
"But he dont care her"

CAN U BELIEVE IT?
FREE ONE, YOU DONT WANT?

"He still wearing the ring"

Would u stay over at some random and half-stranger's of an opposite sex's hse.
and claim that, I WEAR THE Ring and YET, she seduces him.

All this is bullshit.
I am a flirt, i flirt in game.
But, in reality, i know my limits.
Not like you.

You made me a fool.
A totally fool.
U SAID I MADE U FEEL LIKE A FOOL.
JUST BECAUSE I FLIRTED IN A GAME.
I AM THE COMPLETE FOOL.
WHO TRUSTED U
WHO LOVED U STILL AFTER ALL THIS SHIT.
WHO BELIEVE IN U.
and look, i am a failure GF.
im a flirt, a girl who likes to flaunt, a girl who does nothing but controls her ex.
Ain't i awesome?

You happy now with my downfall?
Are u happy to see me crumpled and smashed?

I HATE YOU.
Never again, will i believe you. NEVER.

Disturbia

2008-10-21T11:44:00.000+08:00

I need no one.
I will be by myself.

FUCKALLOFYOU.

MADNESS

2008-10-19T23:11:00.002+08:00

Today, was a great day.
When to Serpentine Dam, for this Thai Buddhist Festival.
Where everyone celebrates for monks who have passed the test and graduated.
Its a rare scene, the view, atmosphere, is nothing that can be experienced back in SG.
like what Acham Brahm said, we worship Virtue, Peace and Compassion.
Yeah, i have yet to find the inner peace.

Yesterday, had BBQ at uncle gerard's hse.
AWESOME BEEF, his dog is super big.
His wife is so nice to talk too.
Had fun eating and chatting.
But nxt wk i wont make it for BBQ at Andre uncle's hse.
GOT TO WORK!

THE DAY BEFORE. THE CURSED OF THE KA ZUA.
OK! i kept seeing this figure, like a cockroach at my desk @ abt 2am.
i thought my mind was playing tricks.
as i kick the sub woofer and stuff, nth came out.
then in the early morning, my dear mother said. WHR IS THE PHONE?
i search my bed, and put it under my mattress, and guess what?
THE KOKOROACH WAS ON MY KNN FUCKING HAND.
AND THE LEGS FUCKING GIRLY CAN?
then i scream, stand on the chair, refuse to slp on the bed.
ya, after a treasure Hunt, MY MOTHER SMACKED IT.
my mother was my savior, she is JESUS.
okies, it creeps me, nw i keep seeing cockroach shadow but no cockroach.
the spirit of that coco is HAUNTING me.
fuck it.

Listened to Jay's new songs.
Whenever i hear 说好的幸福呢 i would cry.
i just upsets me so much.
even 花海 makes me sad.
im emomomomomomo~

i guess, no one is reading this blog either.
its gonna close shop too.

my heart is so numb, its still yearning.

Changed

2008-09-25T22:09:00.002+08:00

He said i changed.
Im not longer the one he used to love.
Am I just that bad?
Is it wrong that i want to make myself look beautiful.

Yes, i lacked of my smiles.
Im trying to find it.
My looks might have changed.
But my heart has not.

Now i know.
I have been judged by looks.
Its just human nature.

You're the one that changed not me.
Give me back that one, that loved me for who i am, in the beginning.

LOST & FOUND

2008-09-24T23:32:00.005+08:00

i dropped 55$!
never to be found.
GREAT.
GERIE DID AN AWESOME JOB.

lecture was abt penis and vagina.
wtf can?

LOVES.

Over, yet undone.

2008-09-24T00:37:00.002+08:00

I wonder if everything he said was true.
Sometimes, i wonder and thought about all the if-s.
If only.

But in reality it wont happen.
Im climbing up the steepest mountains.
my goal is to release it all, and gain happiness & freedom.
But every time i climb my way up.
Im stuck.
I look down, and i've seen how far i have come.
I'm scared.
The heights overwhelm me.
Like the sadness conquers me.

I am trying to reach the top.
I know its not that far.
But the moment i think about him.
I feel that its a lie when i tell myself i dont love him anymore.
I just break down and cry.
But when i think about the smses he sent, the words he used on me.
I realised it isn't love he is giving me.

Love isn't about authority.
Its about acceptance and equality.

I have walked the path he wanted me to walk.
Although i am single and free. I feel stupid that at time i still listen to the things he say.
like dress this way, dont do this and that.
I dont want it to be a habit.
I want to do things my way.
But there's a guilt in me.

What's the point of looking back?
Because looking ahead is better, right?
from his smses, i know.
His love is not there for me anymore.
No longer, forever.

Naita. Naita, Naita.....

2008-09-19T16:55:00.003+08:00

I realized i cant watch any touching show, cos it just makes me cry.
I couldn't understand why i cried to sleep last night.
It hurts me to know hw much he has changed.
It hurts me to see the words he used against me.
It hurts to know that i still care about him.
I dunno why, by my heart seems to be dead and numb.
i wonder why do i still cry.

I know, my heart is not with him anymore.
It feels nothing.
It feels so empty that i cant even study.
I dont feel like gaming, or goin to the net.
I cant slp, but i just wanna lie down and do nothing.
I lost my goal and direction.
I'm stressed cause i know the weightage of the following assignments will affect me.
But my mind just refuse to kick start.

I hate the struggle in myself.
Maybe i am just a crybaby, runaway from everything.
Running away.

Eventually, i will.

2008-09-11T16:06:00.002+08:00

I know, it's time to move on.

I know it would had been a hard decision to break up.
I know a part of me i would regret doing so.
I know i will be upset about it for a long time.

But time has shown to me that i am just not worthy of his love and time.
Each time, i get myself occupied, trying to get back friends i lost or neglected.
Each time, i try to make new friends, i find it hard.
Cos i know, he doesn't like me to talk to guys or make guy friends.
Each time, i wanna dress well i look good.
I think twice, cos he doesn't like it as he thinks its too revealing, he sees no need to look good.
Each time, i thought i was over him.
He would sent me an sms and ask if i had made new guy friends or had a new boyfriend.
What am i in his eyes that he looked me in such a manner.

This is when i realized, i was nothing but a bitch in his eyes.
Why did i hesitate to delete our pictures?
Why did i hold on and believe that he would say he could love me for the way i am?
He just couldn't.

For all these sadness for the past 1 month.
I will, from now on, commencing this day.
I will forget about him and move on.

With no regrets.
I will live life better than it was, because i deserve it.

What would you do?

2008-09-07T20:32:00.002+08:00

I'm hanging loose on the line.
I thought that i could be fine.
Indeed, i adapted to the life here.
Everything here is alright.

But when you come to realize
Time flies really fast.
My aunts are goin back singapore.
I dont have much friends in University.
I don't have my usually love as usual.
Cos i just lost my boyfriend.

I tried to pick myself together.
But i always tend to brk down and fall again.
What would you do?

I had be lying to myself to make myself happier.
Yeah, maybe my happiness was genuine or not.
i cannot determine the word genuine.

what would you do?
Move on? or Continue to live in the life you imagined it to be, to feel better?
What would you do.

I missing everything.

2008-09-02T19:06:00.003+08:00

When i listen to music in my mp3, i realized hw lonely and empty am i.

When i listen to "Me Love", i miss brenda and khairun.
When i listen to "Break the Ice" and "stop & stare" reminds me of cass, ass licking bitch.
When i listen to Paramore, reminds me of veronica.

Whenever i hear chinese songs, it reminds me of jianlun.
and would think abt the song, Lie-Lie-Lie.

Where is the time where we could all hang out and be ourselves.
Have someone to talk to, be there for u.
Looking forward to sch, meeting each other.
Arguing and confusing one another with our own understanding of the topics.

Where is the time when the words of love were true.
Where the time spent together were real.

If it was all superficial, then i would have lived my life as a fake.
Just like what i am doin now.
trying my best to be someone else, so i wont go back to my old footsteps.

I want to be smart.
I want to be pretty.
I want to be emotionless.

In short, I'm EMO.

I miss you guys.
Alot.

P.s. I miss wardah and her funny jokes and gestures. & her narcissism.

AHHHH!

2008-08-07T00:44:00.002+08:00

Gerie hasnt been blogging for quite some time.

So let's update this place a little.

I found a job @ Gelare Ice Cream.
I have started school in Murdoch University.
I met a TP Law Senior in one of my Units.
I am dying from the assignments and chim ang moh.
I am sick of the smell of WAFFLES.
I hate TUESDAYS, cos its waffle day.
I hate going to school, cos i hate to study.

I love my dearest, CASS & VERON.
I love my Beloved, CLARISSA ONG.
I love my ONE & ONLY, Lai Kianloong.
I LOVE MY BED, i'm suffering from insufficient slp.

Anyway, to whom it may concern.
It doesnt matter whether u turned down VJC a not.
I am in a UNI nw, ARE U ANYWAY NEAR THAT?
(its not that i am haolian, dont be so haolian in the first place pls.)

I am proud to say i am a student of TP and i am DOING 3 YRs in POLYTECHNIC.
who says that POLY students are worse off than JC ppl?
WE GOT DIPLOMA! we have experience and good backgrd w job guaranteed.
JC ppl if they dont get good grades, they dont go UNI.
All they have is a piece of paper called A lvl CERT.
so go ahead, ACCEPT VJC.

btw, i SING better than u do.

LOVES.
dedicated to CASS, honey.

Interesting Facts.

2008-07-21T23:55:00.003+08:00

I was thinking, if i ever had kids, what would i name them.

Sons i would say:

Zero (cause in anime this name is always for cool and hot guys)
Lance (Nice ah)
Xeno (creative ma, no body have)

Daughter would be:

Luna (like moon ma..)
Ophelia

I dunno i like weird names, names tat are special, and individual and my darling cass told me these.

clinical says: you cannot call your son zero
clinical says: wait he go sch they all make fun of him
clinical says: they tell him he sure get zero for tests
gerie says if i have a son, he would be called Zero. Cos all anime Zero-s are HOT and COOL. says: ok
gerie says if i have a son, he would be called Zero. Cos all anime Zero-s are HOT and COOL. says: so er
gerie says if i have a son, he would be called Zero. Cos all anime Zero-s are HOT and COOL. says: call him CLOUD
gerie says if i have a son, he would be called Zero. Cos all anime Zero-s are HOT and COOL. says: like FF7
gerie says if i have a son, he would be called Zero. Cos all anime Zero-s are HOT and COOL. says: so handsome
clinical says: no
clinical says: wait when rain they will ask him why he not outside
clinical says: yesterday clinical says: got this article in the newspaper
clinical says: this guy, his name is TWELVE. then he's in the army, he's an oct.
gerie says my daughter will be Luna and son will be Lance. says: name called twelve
gerie says my daughter will be Luna and son will be Lance. says: so lame
clinical says: so he gave ppl invitations, he wrote there oct twelve. someone though it was the date, and went on october 12
gerie says: LOL
clinical says: another person, her name was candida, after the song. however, candida is also the biological name for yeast infection
gerie says: wth
gerie says: so suey
clinical says: hahah yaaa
clinical says: then got another
clinical says: his name is bright
clinical says: hs teachers told him. you never get a for your tests ah. not so bright
clinical says: and his friends tell him, dont worry if it's dark, bright is here

So i shall say, i shall not have kids, mayb parents are the blame for awful names. Like mine. LAU POR HIA. 刘宝霞. and all those weird and funny names people give me. So i kids deserve better.

Sunday 20th July: Burma Flood Fund raising.

GOD it was so busy, all the 500 curry puffs and spring rolls were sold out, and so were the ham chim bangs and vadai. SO BUSY CAN! and there are really nice people who dont want the change and generously donate to help the people in burma, u people are blessed.

Although the health inspector sucks big time, i got no choice yeah? u people are so head-over-heels about hygiene then so be it. Take food, no collect money, wear gloves. OK! u sell and a long queue and ask ppl to fucking wait for change when the cashier isn't ard and then when i give ppl change, u say i unhygienic and threaten to shut our stall, U SMART U DO LA. SI ANG MOH! and bloody cashier MIA. thanks man. Dont wanna reckon everything. BUT it was a nice place, The Esplanade at Fremantle. Here are some CUTE and NICE stuff at fremantle. ITS BLOODY COLD there but its nice.

Thats all Folks. Enjoy!

Back in One Piece

2008-07-17T15:25:00.001+08:00

YES! GERIE IS A HAPPY GIRL.
my boy didnt ditch me. so im very happy.

LALALALALAS.

LAI KIANLOONG IS STILL MINE!
(ok im obsessive....)

LUA, MUACKS.

Fool or Tool?

2008-07-16T19:23:00.003+08:00

Am i a fool?
It's been 2 weeks, and he still needs time.
He told me, i need time to think, i will give you an ans asap.

But 14days, 336hours, isn't enough for him to decide.

I am hanging on the line, waiting for an answer.
The answer will determine where do i head towards.
Move on and get a new life, or work hard and continue to give my best in this r/s?
Single or Attached?

Or am i just a tool?
Used already is 2nd handed, buy a new one?
Need that time, then take out from your box, then im handy.
No need me, just put in back into the box, but you need me, u know, i am still in the box.

What am i?
Things that you have said and done, hurts me so much.
What's done is done, the damage is done.

If my love had been fake, what was ever real?
If I'm unworthy of your love, why say that you love me?

Yes, I'm trying, trying to be what you want me to be.
Trying my best not to think too much.
Trying my best to be happy.
Trying my best to be a girl, a girl that u want me to be.

But if the answer was a negative answer.
Trying would be pointless.
Trying to move on, would have to take place.
Trying to forget, Trying to pretend.

I look fine, but I'm not.
I don't cry doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.
I may be strong, but I can be weak.

Give me a heart, made of steel.
So i wouldn't hurt and break.
So that it would melt, when the time is right.

Make me one that is emotionless.
Then there wouldn't be love & hate nor would there be any sadness or pain...

Day #44

2008-07-12T00:33:00.002+08:00

Gerie is doing better now.
Im trying my best not to think abt it.
Always, prepared for the worse.

Is it worth the wait?
His answer will determine, is it worth it or not.

Dont hope for the best, but work the for best.

Yes! Gerie, you can do better than this.

4 In The Morning, the song.

2008-07-09T22:16:00.000+08:00

Waking up to find another day
The moon got lost again last night
But now the sun has finally had its say
I guess I feel alright

But it hurts when I think
When I let it sink in
It's all over me
I'm lying here in the dark
I'm watching you sleep, it hurts a lot
& all I know is
You've got to give me everything
Nothing less cause
You know I give you all of me

[CHORUS]
I give you everything that I am
I'm handin' over everything that I've got
Cause I wanna have a really true love
Don't ever wanna have to go & give you up
Stay up till Four In The Morning & the tears are pouring
& I want to make it worth the fight
What have we been doing for all this time?
Baby if we're gonna do it, come on do it right

All I wanted was to know I'm safe
Don't want to lose the love I've found
Remember when you said that you would change
Don't let me down
It's not fair how you are
I can't be complete, can you give me more?
& all I know is
You got to give me everything
& nothing less cause
You know I give you all of me

[CHORUS]
I give you everything that I am
I'm handin' over everything that I've got
Cause I wanna have a really true love
Don't ever wanna have to go & give you up
Stay up till Four In The Morning & the tears are pouring
& I want to make it worth the fight
What have we been doing for all this time?
Baby if we're gonna do it, come on do it right

Oh please, you know what I need
Save all your love up for me
We can't escape the love
Give me everything that you have

& all I know is
You got to give me everything
& nothing less cause
You know I give you all of me

[CHORUS]
I give you everything that I am
I'm handin' over everything that I've got
Cause I wanna have a really true love
Don't ever wanna have to go & give you up
Stay up till Four In The Morning & the tears are pouring
& I want to make it worth the fight
What have we been doing for all this time?
Baby if we're gonna do it, come on do it right

(Give you everything)
(Give you all of me)

Dont think too much...

2008-07-09T21:16:00.002+08:00

Yes, everyone told me, dont think too much.
Exactly, how much is considered 'too much'?

Let me share with you some things.

If your bf/gf tells u, i dunno i love u anot?
and tell you he/she needs time to think about it.
How do u feel?
How do u feel if coincidentally, 2 person who are so close, happen to have same problems.
Tell me how do you feel.

Many people told me.
Dont Cry, no worth it.
Let it go, continue oso not worth it.
He can hurt u now, he will do it again.
No point continuing.
He dont appreciate/cherish, let it be.

And im glad, that people think of the same reason as me.
He has another woman.
Which is what i had thought of in the first place.

How can i man's heart change that fast?
i do not know.
But who ever is the girl who stole him away, i can only say, Well done.
You did a good job, u got him in the state you want him to be.
And you have hope.

Like what sherlee told me, No point getting upset over someone who doesnt love me & upset those that loves me.

Yupp, he says he still love me.
I hope it isn't a lie.
But what does he has to lose, cos he got 2 choice, and i've got none.

So tell me now, am i thinking too much?

The tears i've cried

2008-07-06T23:55:00.001+08:00

Gerie, why are you crying?
will crying bring him back?
will crying solve the problem?
will crying ease ur pain?

There is no need time to think if you love someone.
If you love someone, your heart can nvr deny it.

I had nvr thought abt giving up this love, but you did.
You have the right to be happy, so do i.
In love, there is only one person who can be happy.
and the person holding the power nw, is you.

Time is like a blade, cutting me slowly.
Not letting my heart die instantly, but torturing me slowly.

Out there in a winter of 2 degrees, i learnt hw my tears can burn so badly.
Crying is painful.

My Love that is gone.

2008-07-05T22:58:00.003+08:00

I realised hw much have i sucked in this relationship, this one and a half years.
I realised maybe he, or god, is making me go through everything he has been thru.

Yes, I took too long to understand him.
Yes, I took too long to realized how much he meant to me.
Yes, I took too little time to notice him.
Yes, I'm immature.
Yes, and its totally my fault.

Tell me, why am i such a stupid woman.
Why am i thinking all this silly things, and making myself cry?
Why am i crying so badly?
Why do i find it so hard not to think abt him?
Why am i so attached to him?
Why did i not appreciate things he did for me?
Why am i so selfish?

Because it never came across my mind that he would walk out of me one fine day.

I nvr thought that one day i would wake up and not have his voice.
I nvr thought that one day i wouldn't be able to smell him again.
I nvr thought that one day he would get sick and tired of everything.
I nvr thought that one day he would stop loving me.
I nvr thought that one day, there would be no one slping beside me.

I made him changed, i thought it would have made me happier.
It did not at all, because he became someone else.
He is not longer the one i loved from the start.
In this relationship, i had stopped doing the loving for quite sometime.
I had be taking all the love i could get from him.
I hardly woke him up for sch anymore.
I hardly sms me good morning anymore.
I hardly find subjects to talk to him anymore.
I hardly make time for him anymore.
But he nvr once complained, but yet i complained so much abt him.
Abt him being irritating, abt him being not understanding.
Actually for all these times, he had been v understanding..
but i didnt realise it til later.

That's when his words: "It's too lat had killed me straight"

Yes, it's too late gerie. Too late.

My parents got sick of seeing me crying and not eating much.
They told me: What is yours, will be yours. If he loves u, he ll eventually come back to you.

Love is selfish, but love isn't the way i had let it become.
If he says that it is too late, what else can i do? i cant turn back time.
If i cant love him anymore, all i can do is wait, and wait.
Even if it takes forever, i ll wait.
I can only give u love in the form of respect, do what u want to do.
i wont be a person who will mess up ur life again.

Its the last love, i can give to you, my love.
My one and only love, Jianlun.

Tattered and Torn

2008-07-05T01:52:00.000+08:00

I fell and crumble.
tell me hw to stop the tears from flowing.
tell me hw to sleep without wetting my pillow.
tell me hw to get my love back, without getting hurt.
How?

LOVE

2008-07-04T16:16:00.003+08:00

I lost myself to L.O.V.E
i realized how love can give me power and strength,
and overnight, it turned me into a mad woman.

I cried for nights, just thinking about all kinds of possibilities.
I cried cos all that i ever speak and think abt is him, but its no longer him.
How ironic that my own words can hurt so much.
Im just a pain in the ass

Yes, i think too much.
But a woman's instincts would never fail.

What happened to the man who used to love me?
What happened to the calm and confident me that drove me nuts to think that i would lose my man.

Maybe Im no longer me, Maybe Im no longer the one in his eyes.

I learnt L.O.V.E in the price of Pain.

I'm sry but i still love you.

HAPPY 18 MONTH ANNIVERSARY <3

2008-07-01T00:12:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 18 MTHS MY DEAR!
time flies, but u're always mine.

LOVEYOUALWAYS.
MUACKS.

DAY #34

2008-06-30T23:33:00.008+08:00

I know i haven been updating cos i've been a lazy girl.
So i have decided to upload some nice stuff for everyone.

Bid goodbye to Ms Geraldine Lau and welcome MR. Gerie Lau

Dont ask me for my no. I know im handsome! MUAHAHAHA!
Okies, my dearie, Lai Kianloong. I'm like a boy nw, No body will want me, So im urs only ok! MUACKS.

Okies, i had my period yesterday. And here's some fun facts for every girl.

This is an ordinary sanitary pad.

But u learn from ur pad stickers.

SEEE! Pads are good!

and last but not least, there are v irritating birds here. And they sound weird, they look like crows, but they are nt, its called Ravens. Bloody Birds.

I know u cant see it. But i tried my best.

PICS

2008-06-19T22:15:00.004+08:00

I have some pics dated back to the first few days in Australia.

These are flowers from My aunt and my Uncle's hse.
For Sherlee, the pretty roses. (they are BIG)

And the Casino, i tou tou take one.

And pictures of the fruit orchards but then all the fruits drop already when i go there.

AND LASTLY, if you forgot how i look like, this is ME NW!

Okay, im still as ugly and stupid as ever, but my dear loves me. (:

DAY #23: Friends

2008-06-19T14:51:00.003+08:00

Everyday I sleep and wake up and go out~ ITS NIGHT~
so i cant tk good pictures of my house. BLEAHS.
Nothing much to talk abt cos everyday is shopping for groceries, eat and sleep.
So i shall blog abt a topic called Friends.

Friends are people that walk in and out of our hearts and mind.
Friends are people that we associate ourselves with.
Friends are nothing more than an escape to wonderland, where your worries go away.
Friends are people we assume to be part of my daily life.

But in reality, how many of our friends treat us as friends?
How many of your friends are positive friends?
How many of your friends would stand by you no matter what happens to you?
How many of your friends would be there for you as and when you need them?
How many of your friends remember you when you lost contact with them?
How many of your friends correct you when you're wrong?
How many of your friends are honest with you?

That is when we start questioning ourselves, who are friends, what are friends?
Any one on the streets can be your friend, if you open up your hearts to them.
Any one of your friend are not your friends because they betray and lie to you.
Any one of your friend might be neglected because people who are your friends are not you 'real' friend.

In reality, Humans are selfish, they would betray or lie their way thru to get their desires.
In reality, Friends is a person who gives you Faith, Love, Betrayal and Lies.

Friends are one of the best thing in the world cos they give you the best of BOTH worlds.

Learn how to use our hearts and see people instead of the eyes.
知人知面不知心 this is the best word to describe all humans.

TO VERON!

CHEER UP BABE! u are stronger than what you are. No matter how many times a heart can break, someone would still eventually put it back for you. This is why we strengthen our hearts, and not let them break easily again.

TO MY BABYBOY!

dearie i believe in another 12 days time, it would be our 18 month anniversary.
SO U BETTER TREAT ME WELL OR I DITCH U BEFORE THE DAY COMES.
just jokin larhs dear.
Must continue to love me, dote me, and miss me ah!
LUA! MUACKS.

PICS

2008-06-17T13:44:00.000+08:00

I WILL UPDATE PICS BY TONIGHT!

please stay tuned.

Day #21: A Long Post for Confessions & Thoughts.

2008-06-17T13:33:00.000+08:00

Sorry for not blogging all these time, cos the internet is not up yet. I’m typing this in MS Word nw. So that I ll rmb to blog. Recently, I have been a happy girl. I haven been crying for the past 2 weeks because my beloved boyfriend told me that in his heart, I’m always his strong dear. It’s not that I have forgotten abt everything in SG. I rmb all of my friend very well, all the time we spent together and quarrels we had. Nonetheless, I have never once forgotten abt my boyfriend, Lai Kian loong. But today, 17/6/08, I broke down into tears again.

Honestly, it’s hard not to reminiscent about my life in Singapore. Yes, I miss everything. But now that I have to live here for the next @#$@% years. I have to learn and accept what this place is. Perth isn’t as bad as the way I thought abt it. It might have been I came at the right time, although technology is still behind SG, but the shopping, convenience is here nw. Perth is slow in everything they do, but I feel that there’s a place for me in this place where I don’t have in Singapore. No one would say that I’m fat, No one would say I have fat thighs, big boobs, fat ass. I feel confident here, because my cousin told me that I’m fine. I don’t feel hurt like I do when I’m in Singapore when ppl throw insults are comments of me being fat. Other than that, there are many things I have to do here, I must know how to drive, how to read a street directory, cook, save money and etc. I know I’m able to accomplish what I have to do, but I still have phobia to handle a care, I’m afraid to get lost. I do have my fears.

There are so much fear in me that sometimes I wonder if I lived my life right, or my thoughts are right. I’m afraid that I ll lose all my friends in SG, because I’m no longer there or able to contact with them, but everyone has to move on. I’m afraid of failing in this relationship because I’m afraid my boyfriend is unable to handle the loneliness, I’m afraid of having him by my side because I ll lose the freedom and privacy I have now over here. I’m afraid all the changes and effort I made to make the relationship work or the changes I made to make me a better person, a person that would fit into a clique or whatsoever, would all go down the drain. I’m tired of being someone that would not be hated, or thrown away. No matter hw hard I try, I know mostly my friends still treat me like dirt, dirt would have been too harsh, but it’s the feeling I get inside. No one would rmb me, because I was never significant. For instance, those that said would send me off, did not come. Someone who said was asking me to his birthday did not ask me to and instead ask someone else, which obviously meant that he did not intended to ask me there anyway. Someone who promised to celebrate my bday did not turn up. My boyfriend who didn’t get me any birthday present for me, 2 years straight. I wonder why do I try so hard? Because I was never even on people’s mind.

When I watched Koizora on my computer, I felt that love is so beautiful, but in reality it never was beautiful. I would have done what the girl would have done, but in the end, love only can end with tears. Love is not a holy or beautiful thing. It’s just a word, affection, a trial. But how many people can ever go thru all these shit that people have within themselves, there is no perfect love. Whenever I watch shows when the girl loses her baby, I wondered would I feel the same if I lost my own child. I definitely would want a baby of my own, but then I would wonder will I have a husband/responsible boyfriend to go thru it with me. It’s just too hard. In reality, love is selfish. A man would marry the woman he love most and a woman would marry the man who loves her the most. That’s why I despise man who don’t protect their girlfriends and make their girlfriend pay for their expenses or to be with a girl so that they can fuck-and-throw-and-showoff. I simply hate girls to hang around or date a guy because he is good-looking or rich, this are the kind of people I look down on. I’m proud to say my love and I are ugly & poor couples with simple love relationship but problematic trust issues.

FOR MY BABYBOY!

My dear ah! I miss you a lot k? I miss hearing your voice, I miss your smell, your everything! I still love u as much as always; please study hard for your exams! Sleep early & Eat proper meals. Remember that you have to work hard for yourself and me! JIAYOU K!

FOR CLARISSAONG!

Hope that QSS is a success & bless you with a godly gerie-powered body system so you won’t ever cui again!

FOR 1L01 LAW & MANAGEMENT PPL

All the best for u results in Mid-Sem Test! WORK HARD K! (hope lizards follow cass home, and ppl continue to harass wardah! :D )

DAY #17

2008-06-11T14:39:00.002+08:00

Sorry that im unable to blog but i will update asap.
For my dear frens, pls email me for the meantime, cos im at some usuable-computer pay for 2$-for_20min system in the nearby shopping mall, so i can reply emails better. hehes.

EMAIL ME AH!

I MISS EVERYONE!
LOVE MY DEARIE!

DAY #10 & 11

2008-06-05T17:27:00.003+08:00

Day #10

OK, yesterday was a bad bad day, we drove to go to carousel to find a job for me, trust me, the shoppin mall is like vivo, but a single level, vivo city. HELL BIG LA, then we could find out car in the carpark, funny yeah? so we had lunchies at Caroseul food court, but still eating at home is cheaper than eating out yeahs?

Then we headed down to Thornlie Librart, wanted to sign up for internet so that me and my daddy could use the internet, pls, me and dad, hate books. But we love internet! cos the bloody hse no internet. Btw, someone shot some bullet or what that pierce thru the glass window, so nw we got even more natural air con. Bloody winter is alr killing us in the hse, nw the hole in the window, even more cold. From Fridge, our hse nw is a Freezer. DUH!

At night my uncle and aunt came down to pass us our letters! so my Proof of Age card and Westpac Debit card is HERE! WEEEEE~but i guess i have to open another bank account w BankWest cos u know its like in TP, there's only POSB ATM, i dont wanna die of hunger in sch ah! Ohya, we went to coles to buy groceries and cooked dinner, so we saved money! hahas. Cried to slp cos i was missing my baby boy again. Hais. BE STRONG GERIE!

Day #11

Today, woke up to get to Fremantle to settle our cargo shipment. And guess what nw, we got cheated by the Singapore Agent that there's door to door service, actually there isnt. And the best thing is we had to pay another 522.47$ for the whirfing and whatever shit. Still need to go custom and do the stuff. Then the custom says, u gotta call the who and who to see if ur container is emptied, then u call the who and who is the thingin unpacked, then u call the custom and come down another day w the quarantinee officer to check ur crate of stuff. I thought we could get it down in at least today. then they say 24 hrs after u come custom, then quarantinee officer will be available and stuff. im like, WALAU! still need to wait. Buey tahan.

Had lunch at a lunch bar, ate too much, then headed down to harris technology, check out some modems and stuff. Then, we headed to my aunt place and i catch a nap til NW! then i online. Yesterday night i watched fated to love u til ep 10 then i got no internet cannot chiong more alr. sometimes i worry that my dear will be like Ji Cun Xi, cos im not around he feels lonely and seek comfort in someone else. But i know, i should think too much. I should trust him yeahs? SO dear, remember i trust u and love u hell loads k? Muacks.

DAY # 8 - 9

2008-06-03T18:18:00.004+08:00

Day #8 Part II

WEEE~! Got to blog cos i dropped by at my aunt's place.
slept at the new hse yesterday and it was super cold.
and i couldnt sleep because the floors were made or wood, so there's always a PIAK! then i wake up, and when my mother got up to pee, i hear the steps v loudly, so i literally stayed half awake thruout the night. BAH.

The good thing is that i watched Fated to Love You before i slp, so i was like thinking it would be great if i had my own baby too, then LAIKIANLOONG would love me more yeahs? BAH! im thinking too much again. SO that's all about yesterday night after the last post.

Day #9

today we went to thornile square, its really near our place, and JUST JEANS got really cheap sales there, i bet u will love it. and there's also coles, where we get our groceries. So daddy bought himself a pair of jeans at just jeans for 9.99$ cos his jeans pi-chiak yesterday. and met my aunt at noon, headed to chinatown for DIM SUM. GOOD OK! but then wanna puke. Then they shopped and bought groceries and necessitites. Went to city to see good sammy(the op shop). Got this lovely coat for only 12$ amd mama got her stuff.

So we walked dwn the streets and headed to another good sammy but got nothing i liked. So we got Gloria Jeans high tea and bought other necessary stuff for the new house like pails and hangers. Although its a rented place, but we gotta stay there for 2 months before we decide stuff. So lets just wait and live with whatever we have nw. Gotta go get a job at Thornlie Square soon, earn some allowance. Trust me, working here is definately worth it for the pay and working hours.

Might not update again until i drop by at my aunt's place.

LOVEMYLAIKIANLOONG! MISSMY BITCHES, cass-ver-para! SMOOCHIES FOR MY SASA!

P.S. I MISS MY DEAR, really scared you will leave me behind and forget abt us. =(

DAY #7 - 8

2008-06-02T15:12:00.004+08:00

DAY#7

Yesterday i slept til late and had terriyaki beef and chicken karage for brunch.
Went down to Perth City to visit an Op Shop, but its close.
There a delicious icecream store, i know its mad that im eating icecream during wintetr.

1 Jun marks the beginning of winter, im pretty much used to the cold nw.
so had cabonara for dinner at home after visiting the city, and my aunt and father allowed me to go to casino, u know i sua ku, nver see before ma.

Headed down to the casino at about 10+, that was when i realised casino is bloody crowded one larhs. so many ppl inside. hell loads of flashing light bulbs (Jackpot machines lorhs). Then saw people play poker and stuff. And i got really excitied and ask my daddy to show me hw he play roulette. So he changed a hundred dollars to play, and i was like 'thats too much la.' But my daddy won 300$ and then he said supper is on him. hahas. So he got a free hush puppies shoes and i had free haivanas slippers and rusty wallet (:

And my darling cousin let me drink the remaing smiroff ice (dunno is it spelled like that) and she said when i come to aussie i gotta have the drink, and its called yega bomb, she said singapore doesnt have it so i gave it a shot. It was good man. To my dear, My daddy was with me all the time, so u dont have to worry. Had chinese cooking for supper at chinatown, yeahs, the mix of alcohol got me puking cos my gastric hurts cos i drink without eating. Headed home and slammed on the bed.

DAY #8 Part I

Today i woke up really late cos i was dead sleepy after the drink, so i showered straight after i got up, and bloody hell, winter shower is CRAZY. everything is cold ): then i got hungry lorhs. And my aunt cooked prawn noodles, nonya style. NICE CAN! then i chiong and watch Fated to Love You til ep.5. But im moving into the rented house tonight. And there isnt internet connection there, and its takes 20 working days to set up the internet.

SO, i wont be blogging for the nxt few days til the internet is up. But be sure, i ll type everything in my notepad and post things up. or mayb i can blog when i go to my aunt's hse. So dont forget abt me ok? i gotta go moving stuff nw.

P.S. LOVE MY DEARIE, dont cos 20days i not online then go find ppl or think i dont want u.
I LOVE YOU ALWAYS!

DEDICATED TO MY BELOVED LAIKIANLOONG <3

2008-06-01T14:16:00.004+08:00

HAPPY 17TH MONTH DEARIE!

sry that i scold u yesterday, cos i was busy with all sorts of stuff, forgive me k?
Just wanna let u know, i wont run away or leave you.
So study hard and come and grab me b4 christmas yeahs!

Loveyoualways,

Gerie (:

DAY #5

2008-05-31T23:59:00.002+08:00

Today is the fifth day, panic-ed because we were suppose to visit my daddy's cousin at noon and my aunt is still not back frm wherever she is. LOL. and my stomach started to ROAR cos im dying of hunger, so my aunt came back and said: 'Lets go eat! Im fainting' i was like (FOOD AT LAST!) so we have Vietnamese Beef noodles, its nice though. (:

Headed down to Uncle Douglas's place (my daddy's cousin), where he informed us the plans and stuff he had prepared for us, so nw we have a car, and a house, 2mths rental free. headed over to the house we are living in, and it is v pretty, i ll upload pics soon yeahs, will be moving our stuff into the house on 2th June. Need to buy some furniture and household appliances cos rented homes dont always come with everything, and its not our home too. So, gotten get to know the places well asap.

headed over to daddy's fren, Kelvin's place. its v lovely place, the couples love to ride bike and they had a room with their bike suits and bikes, bicycles, lovely people. And their daughter is a fun girl too. Its good to see that people gathered at their place are all singaporeans, it made me felt at home. Many of them said, when i get used to living here, i wouldnt wanna go back to singapore. But i believe, i must go back to where i come from. No matter where i am, i am still a Singaporean.

I have not been crying these 2 nights cos everyone told me to be strong, and my baby jianlun tells me, 'My dear is strong, she wouldnt cry'. And i thought, if that is what he thinks of me, its not good for me to let him down yeahs? After all, i still got years ahead to be in here to complete my degree and stuff, maybe i should open up and accept things around me. But for sure, i ll always rmb my frens here, unless, all of my frens in singapore had forgotten about me and moved on. (which is what people who lives here says so, i dunno.)

Cheers.
P.S. SASA GET WELL SOON AND SLP MORE LARHS!
LOVE MY LAI KIANLOONG~ missing you dear ~

DAY #4

2008-05-30T21:52:00.001+08:00

Today, i had BEEF CURRY for lunch, very nice ok! (my aunt cook one :])
then we headed dwn to karrinyup shopping centre.
quarrelled with my mother and got scolded cause i shouted at her fuck and cb at the mall.
I know im rude but she dont have to hit me when i stepped on her shoe yeahs?

Ate strawberry crepes for snacks, its nice u know? strawberries are my fav.
went to town later, and it made me feel so like home cos all the Asians are there.
then headed to harbour town, and i tell u things are cheap cos its factory outlets.
when to the nike factory outlet, and saw those soccer boots and basketball shoes,
really want to get them for my darling LAIKIANLOONG, his one spoilt already.

i bet my parents things im hopeless cos when i talk abt him, they always sigh and hug me.
cried in the afternoon cos i felt so helpless, i hate it cos i have no one by my side.
u know, my frens and my beloved boyfriend.

I trust my boy, and i will try very hard to be strong.
tomorrow we ll head to my father's cousin's place.
he had gotten a place, a car, and a job for my daddy.
then you people can call the S'pore no. and bitch to me =D

I MISS MY BOYFRIEND,
please work hard and study hard dear,
i will always wait for you.
MUACKSSSSSS -LUA-

my idiot boyfriend is suppose to meet me 10pm at msn, and he is no whr to be found.

Day #3

2008-05-29T20:36:00.000+08:00

Today slept enough =D
Had this marvelous breakfast at Kailis Bros.(Didnt take pics, will do so the next time)
Kailis Bros is like Fish & Co, but they sell fresh seafood and i really mean FRESH.

Headed Down to Murdoch Uni today, and this very friendly dunno what one of a kind lecturer entertained me, i tink cass would love him for god sake cos he is bald, old, not fat and a ANG MORH! hahahas. CASSS, he is friendly. Showed me around the Law School, it aint that bad at all, there's quite a no. of asians, so im not alone. (at least not til i get enrolled). The enrolment letter will come in June, so i nidda get a job asap. I would have to do a year of Legal Studies and get 3 Distinctions to make it to Bachalor of Law Degree without having to complete the entire Legal Studies Degree. So, GERIE GOTTA WORK HARD HARD HARD!

When shopping at Whitford, everything just seems expensive, if u convert it to SG dollars. hahas. But my aunt says now its financial year, when it ends at ard End of June, it will be super cheap cos they nidda bring in the new stock. SO WORK TO SHOP! hahahas.

Gotten my aussie prepaid card no. too. But whose gonna sms and call me? No Body will. So waste of Money. DINNER IS SUPERB, but expensive though. There's this Maya Masala indian curry stall at every shopping mall foodcourt, IT SUPER NICE K? and indians cook it. (all of a sudden i love indians) The butter chicken and Lamb roshan was nice la. and they call the indian potatoes, Bombay Potatoes. LOL. okies, im lame. Pardon me k? cos im lonely here.

Still cant help not crying to slp, mommy told me to talk to her abt it if not its bad if i always kip it to myself and later cry alone when everyone is sleeping. Like what daddy said, there's many things i cant put down, but holding on to them wont make my life any better. After all we are here to start afresh and get a better life. I cant help seeing people with friends, couples hugging and kissing, and im all alone. it just sucks.

LOVE MY BABY JIANLUN & PALS & nonetheless my SASA. (:

(i have insecuritites that my boyfriend might leave me cos im not there for him. ): )

Day #2

2008-05-28T20:37:00.000+08:00

Things to be done:

Apply for University
Get Proof of Age
Open Bank Account
Get Driving License
Get a Part-Time Job

Today, i've got my bank account opened(Westpac) -dunno good anot, just wack-
then got to get Proof of Age(like NRIC here), had to go 2 trips cos need primary and secondary identification proof, and i didnt bring my IC or EzLink here la.

And peopl here get amused when they see my passport and birth certificate cos its like "Lau Por Hia (Liu Bao Xia), Geraldine"then the system here is ang moh type, so everything turns out as Geraldine Por Hia Lau. Well, different places, different format.

Firstly, the bank woman who served us, make me wanna fall asleep, she just keep going and going, and this for brenda & khairun, the woman looks like CAROL BEER, i was like is she gonna turn over and say: 'The computer says NOOO~', but i know its lame la k?

Secondly, im still feeling bloody upset, i cant help not crying to sleep. when i look at the things people gave me, i feel so damn down. I used to have everything, and coming here means losing everything. I fell asleep for a short while on the plane after crying, and when i woke up, i totally forgot im migrating, i thought go holiday v fast coming back already, but its not gonna happen.

I wished it was a holiday, i wished i could take a flight back tomorrow, but i can't.

I used to think my boyfriend is such a naggy ass and getting to aussie would meant that i dont need to get irritated by him. But now, i feel so out of place, i cant sleep without his smell, when im cold i want his hugs, i dont get his kisses anymore. They say you'll never miss the water til its gone, and now, i need him so much, but he isn't with me.

I miss my baby boy, i really do.
I miss my friends, i need you guys too.

i hope i dont have to cry everyday,
cos its hard for my parents to see me like that.

Be strong gerie!

Day #1

2008-05-28T00:24:00.000+08:00

Today many of my loved ones sent me off at the airport,

including Ms tay, Mr gui, Ms Yap, my nanny, god ma and nonetheless, my Sa, Lin and my bestfriend PATRICK STARFISH + xr & jenny.

thanks all for the smses, i would really love to reply, but i've got no roaming.

there's a lot of things im worried abt,

things i worry, i cant let go, i cant forget.

Like, my aunts, my grandparents.

And right now, im missing my beloved LAI KIANLOONG.

i dunno where he is right now, i hope any kind souls please date him out.

i dont want him to be lonely.

im sorry for making u guys cry,

i just dont wanna go.

i dont wanna look back when i entered the departure hall cause i know if i look back, i wont leave.

but my mommy was nice, she bought me a perfume (:

and got my daddy one too.

DAY #1

landed at Perth Airport at 21.25.

Arrived at Aunt Catherine hse at 23.05

P.S. I LOVE MY SASA LOADS & MY BOYFRIEND LAI KIANLOONG <3

NOTICE

2008-03-28T02:18:00.000+09:00

This blog will only be active with effect from 27 May onwards.
It will be the main source of communication for my darlings and friends and enemies.

COMING SOON
(macham like movie screening xD)

MY LOVELY DAY

2008-03-26T00:44:00.000+09:00

I had hell losta fun at Partyworld.
Bad time at DotA.
I feel like im losing touch to the Real World.
I've been on Maple for Months,
and it starts to become 'reality'

I WOULD LOVE TO THANK MY DARLING VERONICA & CASSANDRA FOR THIS BLOG.
YOU GUYS SUPER ROCKS.
except for the caterpillar which scared the shit out of me when it was on my bloody big TV. =.=

Sorry for slping when u guys are working this blog out.
JUST WANNA SAY I LOVE U GUYS, muacks!

MAPLE-ING >.<