Over, yet undone.
at Wednesday, September 24, 2008;
12:37 AM
I wonder if everything he said was true.
Sometimes, i wonder and thought about all the if-s.
If only.
But in reality it wont happen.
Im climbing up the steepest mountains.
my goal is to release it all, and gain happiness & freedom.
But every time i climb my way up.
Im stuck.
I look down, and i've seen how far i have come.
I'm scared.
The heights overwhelm me.
Like the sadness conquers me.
I am trying to reach the top.
I know its not that far.
But the moment i think about him.
I feel that its a lie when i tell myself i dont love him anymore.
I just break down and cry.
But when i think about the smses he sent, the words he used on me.
I realised it isn't love he is giving me.
Love isn't about authority.
Its about acceptance and equality.
I have walked the path he wanted me to walk.
Although i am single and free. I feel stupid that at time i still listen to the things he say.
like dress this way, dont do this and that.
I dont want it to be a habit.
I want to do things my way.
But there's a guilt in me.
What's the point of looking back?
Because looking ahead is better, right?
from his smses, i know.
His love is not there for me anymore.
No longer, forever.